JOKES ANYONE?

Title says it all.

some oldies:

A little girl walks up to her mother and says, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"

The mother replies, "When you were born a rose fell on your head, so we decided to name you Rose"

Another girl walks up to her mother, "Mom, why's my name Daisy?"

"Well, when u were born a daisy fell on your head, so we named you Daisy"

The third girl walks up to her mother and says, "A bluhbluhbluhwagagunkeeeeee!!"

the mother replies, "Shut up, Cinder-block!"

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Two hunters are walking in the woods when one shudders violently and falls unconscious. The other hunter whips out his cellphone and dials 911.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Yeah, my buddy might be dead"

"OK, OK just relax, check to make sure he's dead"

(the operator hears a loud bang from the other side)

"OK. now what?"

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baby jokes (don't take any seriously):

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw 'em.

You're walking in the woods carrying a sledgehammer and you see a dead baby.

You must be walking in circles

How many babies can you fit into the back of a pickup truck?

17, I counted last time.

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I bet you've never heard this one before. You MUST read the entire thing for it to make sense.

A man buys a house next to an old monastery. The first night at his new house, he hears a terrible screeching sound, but he ignores it. The next day was normal, but that night, he heard the heart stopping screeching sound yet again, so he went over to the monastery and asked the head monk what the sound was. He replied, "I can't tell you, you're not a monk."

"How can I become a monk?"

"It'll take 10 years of hard labor."

"OK. Ill do it," the man replies.

(10 years later)

"OK I'm a monk now, what is that terrible noise I hear every night?"

"Go through that wooden door to find out"

He walks up to the door, and discovered it to be locked. The man gets the wooden key from the monk and unlocks the door to find a set of wooden stairs on the other side. He walks down the stairs and comes to a metal door. It is locked. He walks back up the wooden stairs and through the wooden door. The man retrieves the metal key from the head monk. The man then walks back through the wooden door, down the wooden stairs and unlocks the metal door. He finds some metal stairs and walks down them to find a locked blue door. The man walks back up the metal stairs, through the metal door, up the wooden stairs and through the wooden door. He retrieves the blue key from the head monk. The man walks though the wooden door, down the wooden stairs, through the metal door, down the metal stairs and unlocks the blue door. He finds a set of blue stairs on the other side, and walks down them. He comes to a green door. It is locked. He walks back up the blue stairs, through the blue door, up the metal stairs, through the metal door, up the wooden stairs and through through the wooden door. The man retrieves the green key from the head monk. The man then walks back through the wooden door, down the wooden stairs, through the metal door, down the metal stairs, through the blue door, and down the blue stairs and unlocks the green door. The man then walks through the green door, and down a set of green stairs. He comes to a gold trimmed, black door, lined with elegant ancient handwriting. All of a sudden, he hears the terrible high pitched screaming sound which seems to come from right behind the door. he tries the handle. Of course it is locked. Sooooo, he walks back up the green stairs, through the green door, up the blue stairs, through the blue door, up the metal stairs, through the metal door, up the wooden stairs and through through the wooden door. The man retrieves the sacred gold trimmed black hey from the head monk who says, "Be prepared for something incredible when you go through that door."

The man walks back through the wooden door, down the wooden stairs, through the metal door, down the metal stairs, through the blue door, and down the blue stairs, through the green door and down the green stairs. He unlocks the sacred gold trimmed black door and FINALLY FINALLY finds the source of the high pitched screaming sound that had been haunting him for the past ten years!